Dear readers, here is the latest issue of GTT- Galactic Time Traveler magazine.
The editorial board of Time Traveler Magazine has issued the breaking news on how the attack on Iran was concluded. As we all know the Israelis were searching for, by target killing anyone who was not suitable, the just, right and perfect dictator for ruling Iran.
Finally there seemed to be a solution. John Isfahani was the best candidate suiting both Israel and the US: he was an Evangelical! The John Isfahani cult was a minor Evangelical group of a few people in the whole Iran , but they seemed very sympathetic to the Western, Israel and US needs.
Then some theological issues made the US and Israel liberation forces to kill him, too.
John Isfahani book of Revelation claimed that, as we all know, the Three Kings bearing gifts to Bethlehem were all Persian kings, Masdakites and Mithraist gospel followers…
The Revelation of John Isfahani states that the Three Kings went to Bethlehem carrying a newborn baby, and they sneaked into the Mary and Joseph stable where they deposed the baby and hailed- called Mary to recognize it. They gave a lot of gifts and lot of gold for the purpose of Mary having enough funds to raise the child. So, a mystery of immaculate birth was solved, and Jesus was in fact an adopted child of Persian origin. The John Isfahani book of Revelations states that this was a cunning Persian plan, way before Frithoff Capra invented the butterfly effect. Butterfly effect is a small disruption of universe order by which a flapping of the wings of the butterfly somewhere in some shithole changes the history course. In fact the Baby Jesus changed a lot of history in Judea. It was this Persian conspiracy aimed to destroy the Jewish community and so give ground for any type of invasion, peaceful or by boots on the ground.
The orthodox Jews at the time had a hunch, by looking at Jesus, that he was not the heir of David and also not a Jew as he pretended to be in the beginning, and the proof was that after he broke from the Jewish community by far and large even admitting the goyim- the non Jews into the new religion of universality and so putting the Jewish orthodoxy into trouble.. It was all clearly a Persian conspiracy which succeeded very well..
After the Western think thanks finally deciphred the evangelical priest John Isfahani’s book of Revelation, he was promptly killed and so the search for the new Dictator started over again. The only viable solution for Israel and by proxy to the US was obvious; the only acceptable dictator of Iran HAS TO BE A JEW!
Finally they found another candidate: Shlomo Teherani, a well respected bazaar- market- figure in Teheran. All seemed well but after introductory wetting of the candidate a terrible dilemma was facing the Israel and the US: Shlomo Teherani was a SELF HATING JEW! He was a real McCoy Jew but he hated Israel state since this Israel state will bring all kinds of woes to the Jews all around the world and make them complete pariah and outcasts again. Shlomo Teherani was promptly killed.
Months passed and finally there came Yankele. Yankele Mashadari. He was not a self hating Jew. He was a small flip flops maker in a dusty dark street of Mashhad. He was mostly silent and taciturn. With the help of Google AI the board of Galactic Time Traveler magazine describes his character as
a person who is habitually reserved, silent, or inclined to speak very little. It refers to someone who is uncommunicative or uses few words (monosyllabic answers), often appearing dour, shy, or stoic. It is a formal, adjective-form word derived from the Latin tacitus (silent) .
In fact he was almost as Moses was depicted in the Sigmund Freud’s primary book on monotheism:
Moses and Monotheism (German: Der Mann Moses und die monotheistische Religion), published in 1939. In this controversial work, his final original book, Freud argued that Moses was an Egyptian noble, not a Hebrew, who introduced monotheism to the Israelites and was later murdered, creating a lasting, inherited guilt that shaped Jewish history and religion .
Being so silent, after being wetted and waterboarded by Mossad, showed that Yankele Mashadari was not a Jew, he hardly spoke jewish at all, stuttered like Moses, but he was keen as Moses to lead the Jews into the new Promised land – Iran.
Weeks of highly strategic discussions between think thanks of Israel and the US followed. In the meantime Iran was bombed the third time around over and over.
Finally the decision came. Yankele was promptly killed. The reason was that the second Coming of Moses could make a final schism between the Jews and also ruin the Evangelical US plan for the final Armaggeddon and the Second Coming of Jesus as this situation was a Time Warp of persons from opposite directions being at the same place in the same time.
The search for the new Iranian Dictator is still going on….
Excerpt, copyright of Galactic Time Traveler Magazine