Following the glorious tradition, the great master and leader, the Tzar Ivan Ivanovič Visarionovitsch etc, etc Putin held the annual end of the year show somewhere in Russia. Show was masked in some question & answer “dialog” between the Russian serfs and the holy leader. The hall WHERE THE SHOW WAS PUT ON STAGE, LITERALLY, was huge and several thousands of loyal serfs were sitting uptight, upright and no legs crossed, listening to the Oracle. The masterful technique, as written here in the posts concerning Giordano Bruno “ De Vinculis”- on ties and bonds – was a good Russian style classic example of distilling love and mostly fear, love through fear and fear through love into the needy Russian audience of faithful.
The show lasted 4 and half hours. FOUR AND HALF HOURS.
NOW, here comes the problem concerning any of attentive uptight and upright sitting person in the huge audience.
How to endure FOUR AND HALF HOURS WITHOUT FLINCHING IN ANY WAY? How to not fall asleep due to possible lack of oxygen breathed away by this thousand of perspiring Russians including the stillness of the body and warmth of the air and overall atmosphere circling metaphysically and factually in the hall?
FALLING ASLEEP would have been a HUGE disrespect towards the beloved leader and could have unforeseen consequences as the person may incur by the doings of some sycophants a time in prison, job loss or any bullying consequences for years to come!
Next problem is the FACIAL EXPRESSION. It has to be natural, NATURALLY ecstatic, attentive, submissive enough to not provoke above consequences of suspicion, and maybe some beating outside by the loyal citizens who noted some facial grimace, because the face muscles of ecstatic grimace froze after few hours, which was more than inappropriate to the salient clue points of the speech of the Czar, or any frozen look signifying something forceful. In fact The people in the audience should have won tons of theatrical awards for expressing the right feelings at the right times.
BUT, WHAT ABOUT THE NAPPIES- DIAPERS?
Folks, the show was FOUR AND HALF HOURS LONG. If any woman is reading this academically researched essay on the Czar show, she knows it is IMPOSSIBLE TO RESIST sitting upright, uptight, no legs crossed for four and half hours without going to the loo! That is the scientific observation and also first hand information WITCHDOCTOR HAS FROM WITCHLADY.
A woman not going to the toilet for such a long time in such situation does not exist on this planet and not even in Russia. Hm, hm, khm, ? Cm on, it is not possible genetically.
The situation when a lady springs up hurriedly from her seat and hurries out to search a loo, just WHEN TZAR WAS SAYING SOMETHING fearfully lovable, lovably fearful, might have CATASTROPHIC CONSEQUENCES!! Everybody turns to look at her! Prison is looming, amends, degrading status, loss of dear fiends- informants- who are always the best tzar lovers as she was, but alas, a leak not controlled is FATAL!
And what about MEN sitting upright, uptight and who at the 3rd hour have escaped falling asleep, kept the right facial expression, but what when they feel or even hear the call of NATURE? To run wild out of the hall while the beloved Leader is fearfully lovably and lovably fearfully explaining the facts of life in Russia??? Everybod turns to look at him! Beating him in the loo is almost certain, enacted by the guardians of the order, prison coming, loss of job and friends, wife runs away with his best friend- a KGB informant with a steady job career, etc…. Or a huge bribe to calm down the loyal citizens outraged by this behavior. With the possibility of life long racket concerning his assets.
THE SOLUTION IS ONLY ONE- DIAPERS FOR EVERYBODY!
Definitely, even if the persons exercised and trained in all this facial and not falling asleep skills for weeks before attending the Czar show,, the call of nature,- going to the toilet, for a piss or for something even bigger and heavier, is an act of GOD and thus uncontrolled..
The probability for this to happen is certain in women and almost certain in men, that is what Witchdoctor finding show and will be soon published in Nature (sic).
If by any coincidence the Putin speech provokes this uncontrolled reactions, due to his lovably fearful or fearfully lovable highlights,fear by love and love by fear, and that is certain to happen in four and a half hours, the conclusion was, after seeing all the Russians sitting upright, uptight and with no legs crossed that THEY ALL HAD NAPPIES- DIAPERS OF ALL SIZES AND CAPACITIES ON THEM!!!
It is the only solution for getting scot-free, unharmed out of the hall. And the best way to evacuate looking ecstatic!
Now, hm, khm, there is still one problem to tackle in this scientific essay; the smell in the hall after FOUR AND HALF HOURS.
Was it, hm, sweet, or sour? It stank of ? Was it Borscht? Borscht is a vibrant, sour soup primarily made from beets, which give it a distinctive red color…. ?
• Pirozhki….?
• Pelmeni. … ?
• Beef Stroganoff. … ?
• Blini. … ?
• Shashlik. … ?
• Olivier Salad. … ?
• Golubtsy?
Here Witchdoctor admits he does not know what heavy smell was pervading and lingering over the show in the hall after four and half hours. There were none of his assistants in the field present there, so the scientific observation regarding this particular smell is inconclusive.
But market data show that the steady rise of use of diapers- nappies- is constantly rising in Russia. OK, go and check, this is no joke, as the scientific observations above are not a joke. If you do not believe, next time go in such a show for four and half hours and try: the proof of the pudding is there. And what a Pudding?!! In your nappies, of course.
The American brands are still leading the market. The market is in steady rise, and will reach over 2.3 billions soon, or even more. Pampers, Huggies (love the name ), Luvs, but, Tanoshi gold, Fujian Jiaye and Shubao is taking the lead after the sanctions…
What this facts of high growth of nappies sold in Russia tell about Russia, geopolitically speaking? The lovable fear and the fearful lovability of the system takes deep hold? The Ukraine war as a nappy growth factor?
There are more nasty conclusions around diapers use in Russia but this fear out of love and love out of fear Russian syndrome needs another more specific scientific analysis.
Happy trails, leave no trace…
Witchdoctor